I tested again yesterday, maybe a couple more times than was reasonable. I’m frustrated, disappointed. Trying really hard not to jump to conclusions. I’ll continue to test through this week, twice a day, just to be sure that my stress level didn’t bump this whole thing back a few days.
Evenings are the worst for this kind of anxiety. When the house is quiet and everyone’s gone to bed. There’s nothing left for my brain to do but fall asleep…or think of every possible terrible reason for this to have happened, and every possible terrible outcome for the future.
I spent most of the night in a battle with my brain, pretty much trying to get it to just STFU!
I was fighting with people in my head, making up scenarios in which I’d never get pregnant…wishing I’d never started blogging…I was all over the map. It was really really rough.
This morning, with some rest and a mental reset I feel much calmer, more able to adapt. Everything seems so much less scary in the daylight. So much less daunting.
I’ll be calling the clinic sometime today to see if they have any advice. I guess I wouldn’t be so perturbed by this if it weren’t the second month in a row I managed to miss the surge. Makes me wonder what I did in August that made it all seem so easy.