Sometime during the afternoon yesterday I started to update my google calendar with my next ovulation date and when I should start testing. Feeling a little lazy, I just calculated everything based on of the Day 10 start testing, Day 14 ovulation information instead of looking at the app I’ve been using for the past three months. After getting everything all set up, I double checked it against the info on my phone.
Everything was a week off. It was really weird.
So I went back again and started recalculating everything based on the dates rather than trusting that the app had done it right. All the app dates were wrong. Not just the ones in the future, but the ones in the past as well.
I think I’ve figured out how I managed to miss my ovulation cycle this month. I have no idea how the predictive data in my phone got so out of whack, but it did. And I was upset about it for about 2 seconds before I realized that it made missing my ovulation date much less ominous.
I feel a lot better, better enough to start looking forward to this process again. I still don’t know how this next attempt is going to turn out but it feels like the grumpy cloud that’s been following me around has finally dissipated.
It’s less about having something to blame it on and more about finally shaking my focus from fear to hope again. I needed something, anything to help me flip that switch and if this is it? I’ll take it.